Men in the Biblical sense are to subdue the Earth, be fruitful, and multiply. From the biological perspective, boys are 3 times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD. Through the lens of emotions, I am cold and callous compared to most of the women in my life. Physically I am 230 lbs, 6 ft 4 inches, energetic, and tough as nails. I kill things, eat raw red meat, love to be dirty, and bench 325 lbs on good days. I jump out of planes, swim with sharks, love mixed martial arts, and can be very dangerous at times. I am a man.
Here is my problem then. I am a man. I am expected to be something else, though. I am expected to be sensitive, sit calmly in classrooms, not get "fired up" about guy-stuff, sports, and traffic. I often were a tie, slacks, and gel my hair when I would much rather be shirtless and playing outside. I am not allowed to hit anyone, wrestle, and drive fast. Gentle, meek, safe, and even feminine, this is what I am told to be.
One of my favorite movies of all time is Fight Club, and yes the book is great, too, but the movie gives you the visual I enjoy so very much. In the movie, there is a scene with Tyler (Brad Pitt) and The Narrator (Edward Norton) in a grungy bathroom spitting out teeth. Tyler say to The Narrator, "If you could fight anyone in the world, who would it be?" The conversation goes on to uncover a wish to fight his (their) father. Tyler goes on to describe what is wrong with society and specifically men:
- Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering... an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy s**t we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
Tyler describes men today as a boys raised by their mothers, and I agree. Politeness not power, dainty not dangerous, this is how I describe my upbringing. I am not a child, though, nor feminine. I am the masterpiece of my Creator and modeled after him. C. S. Lewis put it best when describing Aslan (God), "Safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he is good."
I am not safe. I am a lion.
I am wild, dangerous, and quick to anger at times. I am violent in my heart, though rarely permitted by my peers to express it. I am strong and daring. I am to be feared and I do indeed fear myself. I am not safe. But I will be good.
First, yes please! Preach it! Especially because so many are scared to allow men to be the men God has created them to be.
ReplyDeleteSecond, check out Jesus (the One whom we all are to be imitating). He was both tough and tender. He threw the moneychangers out of the temple for crying out loud, yet He also welcomed the little children unto His lap.
Or, as Mark Driscoll has so well summed it up in his sermon "Jesus, Tough and Tender":
"In Luke 10, you need to be tender. And he’s saying in Luke 22, you need to be tough. Because in Luke 10, he says to be like a lamb. Can you think of anything more tender than that? Let’s say, tonight, you go home and your neighbor comes banging on your door late at night, and they say, 'Look, there’s a wild animal on the loose in the neighborhood.' 'What is it?' 'A lamb.' You’re like, 'Awesome. I’m going to go find it. That sounds fantastic. That’s so cute. I just tucked my kids in. I told them to count lambs, because there’s nothing more soothing than the concept of a lamb?' Right? That’s tender. Luke 22, tough. Supplies, money, boots on the ground, bullets in the chamber, off to conflict. Wow. Tough and tender.
Now, here’s what happens. How many of you, let me ask, how many of you tend to be more tender? You’re more tender. All the verses on love, grace, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, forbearance, longsuffering, turning the other cheek, loving your enemies, you like those, because that’s how you are. How many of you are more tough? All the hell, wrath, judgment, flood, fire, brimstone— 'Yeah! Love me them verses.' Right?
How many of you even then, when it comes to Jesus, some of you go to Jesus and you say, 'I just fondly recall all the tender stories about Jesus.' How many of you fondly recall all the tough stories about Jesus? See how this works? If we don’t practice tota sola Scriptura, we see Jesus as either tender or tough.
And here’s the truth. Some of you are too tender; you need to be more tough. Some of you are too tough; you need to be more tender. And it’s true for all of us. What do you think about me? You all chuckle. Too tender, too tough? Which way would I lean? Tough. And then God gives me daughters, which is grad school for tender. Okay? And so God wants us all to grow in being tender and tough."
Final thought...
2 Timothy 1:7 "God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but rather of power and love and self-discipline."
Power. Love. Self-discipline.